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Kaleidoscope of not so joyful elements

Here’s an assortment of random things I want my future self to remember; my future self being myself from the very next instant. Most of these are an emphasis of what one already knows. My grandmother is nearly 90 and almost completely blind now; everyday visitors pour in thinking she might pass away anytime soon. […]

Happily sad

For most part of my life, I thought of crying as a symbol of weakness. Now I think, only the strong can cry and love themselves enough to let it all out with those tears, or in a sob, or in a wail. When you are children, it’s easier because you don’t care how it […]

Throwback

Sheets flew away from my worn-out old scrapbookOf memoriesThe winds of change lashed my hair against my own countenanceObstructing my viewAs I struggled to pick them up one by oneBefore they flew again. It took all my strength to keep the book shutLest everything should be scattered againThe urge to move on ahead was as […]

Row

Loud stomping of the feet,dragged and stepped in heatto catch attention.Taps opened to full,water rushing in a gush,the splash resoundingfrom the half-open bathroom door.Newspapers shook violentlysheets brushing against each other sharplyirritating the earsFor more attention.Vessels banged in the sink,The stainless steel saving their form somehow.A stubborn frown on the face,making her age lines more prominentmother […]

A bipolar view

On 8th August, 2020, the CEO and founder of Zomato, Deepinder Goyal in an unprecedented move, declared a surprise gift for all its menstruating employees. This was the introduction of 10 paid period leaves to its women and transgender staff. To many like me, this was a gesture that was unheard of before. Kind. Warm. […]

Parting

“See you again after a fortnight.” … Fifteen months had passed after we said that to each other and it didn’t happen yet. I don’t think I’ve witnessed a more apt circumstance where the phrase, “time stood still” suited so well. Fifteen months passed from that day from which in a month’s time, our “standard” […]

Protagonist in the anti-climax

How far away are you?I can’t see youBut we do see the same stars, at the same moment.So, distance in what unit of measurement?Not in the miles that separated usNeither in the days that separated our meeting from this instantNor in the weight of duty that parted us.How far away are we really?As far as […]

A touchy letter

When was the last time you hugged someone? Being the highly PDA person that I am, I miss touching people, a lot. Now that I look back, it seems like out of all the five senses, it is this one that I took for granted the most – touch. The price of a pat, a […]

The extent of forgetfulness

What is this untimely backache,I wonderedIs it all the dancing from the day before yesterday?It definitely can’t be the walk from yesterdayThat was too brief a walk to even countIn the engrossing process of making the Malayali breakfastAll the while listening to a couple throwing brickbats at each otherMy brain totally ignored the throbbing back. […]

Transit

Hey,YouYes you.Stop running.Who’s there?Stop.At least pause.Before you start running again.Pause and breathe.You need itNo I don’t.I need to keep runnin’Till I find somewhere I fit in.Then you’ll just keep running till you diePauseBefore you run again.You search for it, stumble on it and run again.On what?Whatever it is that you are looking for.You’ll fit in […]

Muse, mood swings and myself

I take a look at my writings againIt’s been a whileAnd I’m astounded, not in vainAs I wonder with curiosity as if I’m on an alien isle :“Did I really ..write that?”;I give a phone call to MuseAnd repeat the rhetoric “Did I really write that?”,He says, “Yes, darling”, thinking whether I’m trying to amuse.My […]

Anomaly

“Piya! Wake up! The dance teacher’s coming over”, Ann called out from the stairs. Piya rolled over, groaning. Kid hated it when her sleep was ruined. But Ann had no time to worry about that. Her hospitality plus formality mode was on ever since the teacher had called to inform about her arrival with her […]

Himsagar express

“Hey, describe snowfall to me again!”, Riya said to Nilu for the umpteenth time. And Nilu put her books away, grinning to rant on about how the snow fell in flakes and patterns, blocking the roads and giving their natives many days’ of labour of clearing paths, how they made a snowman, gave him their […]

Soliloquy when stalked

..keep walking…just keep walking… It’s okay. It’s the main road. There are street lights. But why the damn is there noone else around? Fuck you. Who’d be out at 2 am other than you? Calm down. Keep walking. Fuck. Why did he stop the bike there? Should I call for help? Fuck. Where’s the phone? […]

Time in a bottle

Barging into my room, he was a clutterAmongst the prized collection of litter.He was a piece of messA good addition to the bedraggled room more or less,For though a significant change it made in sum-It did not destabilize the equilibrium.He kicked around the other stuff crumpledMaking a good comfy space around,Competing with the rest of […]

Little things

(Highly inspired by “The Pleasures of Ignorance”, by Robert Lynd) Doesn’t it amaze you that a tiny sunbird that fits in your palm creates such loud and shrill vocalizations? That those teensy cicadas shriek louder than beings incomparably gigantic to it? Can you identify a male crow from a female? If your answer is not […]

Ammachi

I daresay, few people are blessed with cool grandparents. Though the idea was to write about my Ammachi, I think it is impossible to present her without presenting a bit of her history; a legacy I’m proud of belonging to. My maternal grandmother, the firstborn of her parents, was named Omana (meaning dear) because she […]

Sapnon ke shehar

“Raina! Sun meri baat.. Take a jacket, pack some essentials. Let’s go to Bombay. Meet at Pune Station in an hour?”, Milton said in a single breath on the phone. “Umm…Okay!!!”, I hung up. It was around 10 pm and Sandeepa and I were still hanging out around Westend Mall. My study leave (for end […]

An apology

I always had my suspicions that Sam (name changed conveniently, till he decides to come out) was gay. Maybe it was the way he carried himself. But I hated making assumptions about people; maybe he’s just naturally feminine, I thought. But then on the day of pride, he spilled the beans. He was expecting a […]

Do you really need a nametag?

It’s 2 am and I lay awake in bedMy heart wishing you were not yet dead.For, “Let your lifespan extend to one more meeting.”, you saidAnd now that’s all that’s mostly in my head.As I listen to Yanni, flooding memories inside,I wish you were hearing me, here beside.Yes, I hear you say it’s the ass,Yet […]

The violin weeps

Loss is when Balabhaskar died,When the moan of the violinSeemed to keep flowing into an everlasting note.How can those strings strike the chord ofSuch painful music; the music of a violin being melancholic by nature itself-Those strings now wept as they have never wept before.To you Tejaswini, he comesFor as they rightly say,No father ever […]

Mothers don’t understand “No food, please.”

Morning 9 am. Mother bangs at my door, “Raina! Raina!” I groaned. “Wake up! I’ve kept your breakfast outside.” “Mm”, I tried to find my glasses as I rolled over. “Eat before it gets cold.” I saw the casserole on the special table kept outside for my quarantine, and went into the washroom with a […]

Dialect disasters and devout devils

DIALECT DISASTERS OF DIFFERENT DISTRICTS. How’s the alliteration coming up? Not good? Okay, let’s move on. The inmates of Alphonsa hostel were sorted into rooms accordingly as the respective departments they belonged to. But there was an important criterion that they ignored in the sorting, namely, the native district. And this was highly evident in […]

Teens and huddles

There were two things for which the students of ISC 2B, 2013-15 would huddle up every day. The first one was to do the Math homework given by Tomy Sir, each morning. Every day after class, he would give a Chaakara (Go look up the word if you don’t know about it. It’s an interesting […]

Language embarrassments

Do you pronounce ‘cot’, ‘caught’ and ‘coat’ the same way?… (Gap for you to pronounce them out.) … If your answer is ‘No’, then you may take your leave, for this is not for you. But if indeed, you pronounced atleast two of them alike,.. Sigh. Read on. Let me begin by stating that I […]

The making of Palappam

There is this amazing aroma that comes out when you make a paste of rice powder with water. It takes you back into the kitchen, back at home. The same fragrance arises when Vellayappam, Idiyappam, Puttu or Kozhukkatas are made.. It can’t be compared to any other smell that exists in the universe, especially when […]

Back and forth

“Do you want more?” . There were already 5 idlis in the casserole she brought and there was a strange pang inside me. For the last six months I had to pay Rs. 15 for two idlis and Rs. 10 for each extra. You get watery sambar, which is sweet for some reason and chutney […]

The Costume Tragedy

This story was written in a nostalgic rush and ergo, nobody other than the characters involved may find this funny or interesting or even worth reading.Dramatis Personae: Ami, Anu, Chithra, Shilpa, Kiran, Gayathry, Jovita, Femina, Miria and myself. Not many days were left for “Dawn 2014”, the fresher’s day and like in any other school, […]

Skin deep

“You are so pretty, even though dark.”Even though?I’m wearing my favourite brown.You can’t tell me it’s inferior and make me frownWhether it be coffee, chocolate, amber or milk.This is my shade and I own this silk.

Cursed

She’s already punished by Nature.Will you join with the forces and make a further bloody mess?The stain, the irritation, the pain, the discomfortThe embarrassment, the endless bleeding, the weaknessWill you still make her do the chores?So much pain of having someone enter her holeWithout getting any pleasure on her partJust because you are bad at […]

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